Things That Distract the Dog When She's Trying to Poop

• Birds
• Rabbits
• Squirrels
• Imaginary birds
• Imaginary rabbits
• Imaginary squirrels
• Ice Cream Truck
• Neighbor spraying his yard
• Tasty grass
• Potentially tasty weeds
• Wind
• Other dogs
• The locations where other dogs have previously been seen
• Beach balls
• Shadows

Local Beer Flow Chart

Heavy Table has a local beer flow chart. I end up at the Bulldog or the Bryant Lake Bowl sometimes, but mostly I end up at Town Hall. Mmmmm....Town Hall.

Taking Up Space

I was reading the Harvard Business Review (this month) and there was an article about how leaders - e.g. anyone put in a leadership position - can lie more convincingly than those without power. Not only are they simply more glib, but they produce less cortisone (on the tongue), their eyes dilate less, and they half-shrug less (plus a few other indicators). They exhibit lying behaviors only 1/3 as much as those who don't "have power". Coupled with the fact that you, yes you, can only detect a lie 50-60% of the time, this means your boss can seriously yank your chain and you don't know the difference.

Coupled with this was a nice explanation that those in leadership positions also exhibit physical characteristics such as putting their hands behind their heads in meetings because it's similar to how a peacock takes up more space to show dominance/breeding viability. So when I'm in a meeting, and I put my leg across my other leg and lean back, I'm telling you I'm the fucking biggest peacock in the room and you should want to mate with me. Crap. I've spent the last two days being paranoid about how I sit and how others sit, and evaluating whether I can sit leg up, or should be leg down. If you sit leg up in a meeting with me, I'm calling you out.

Fox Tossing

I know a few vegetarians. This post from Boing Boing is no doubt just one of the reasons they think we should treat animals better:

Fleming's Deutsche Jaeger (published in 1719) produced this (above) image, and commented on it: "Skilled male tossers could toss a fox 24 ft. high...At a famous fox-tossing in Dresden there were tossed some 687 foxes, 533 hares, 34 badgers, 21 wild cats, and at the end 34 young wild boar and 3 wolves..

Malaysian Pop Stars

Boing Boing has a post about Xeni's brother who's collecting memorabila about Malaysian pop stars. Apparently it's called Pop Yeh Yeh, from the Beatles "She Loves You (Yeah Yeah)". Considering about half the Malaysian in Minnesota work at my company (according to Ming), they might enjoy this post with all it's YouTube links.

On Sunday we went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts to check out Eryn, Pooteewheet, and my father in law's paintings at Foot in the Door 4. There are several rooms floor-to-ceiling full of approximately 1x1' art and each room has a table to display the non-wall style art (sculptures/etc). Some of it is downright strange. Like the Eagle Baby.

Or like this toast. It's important to understand when your hobby becomes a true art form.

Or this pig, checking out this other pig decorated with arms.

My sister in law and niece examining the art.

What is this saying? That barbies are like candy you get if you pay your money? Eryn has a gumball machine. I told her she should put some thought into what she'd put in it.

GOATSE!!!!! It's art!

Eryn and I looking at some of the paintings.

My father in law's painting.

Overheard

My favorite Overheard in Minneapolis in quite some time.

Elderly lady crossing against the light, to bicyclist waiting for light to change: I want to THANK you for OBEYING the LAW! Most bikers just go wherever they damn well please!
Bicyclist, stunned: Aren’t you jaywalking right now?

Minneapolis, Corner of 8th St and 11th Ave S
Overheard by They wear all that obnoxious spandex, too.

Poop

Me, cleaning up after a very large dog (at the MIA). My niece did NOT want the bag after the fact.

Birthday! 7!

Eryn had her seventh birthday this weekend. For all of you that knew her when she was a glimmer in my eye and a bump in Pooteewheet's belly, yes, you're that f-ing old.

This was a better year than the previous years because Eryn decided she'd rather have a slumber party than a mass-effect, 20+ kids, in our house, birthday party. So the sum total of children in our house was three. Her best friend from Tesseract (bankrupt last week), and her best friend from Glacier Hills. They spent the evening helping to make ice cream at Ring Mountain, eating popcorn, and watching Igor.

And climbing the plastic house. Squirreliness was the rule of the evening.

Ming and Logan (and Julie), may their spiritual being of choice have mercy on their souls, got Eryn a Harry Potter Wii game for her birthday. It's definitely interfering with bicycling. The girl is a bit obsessed. I watched the whole potion-making portion. That's a game for obsessive compulsives.

Paintball

On Saturday, I went with Ming and half a dozen other folks from work to partake of my first paintball experience. Ming's invited me in the past, but it's always been on Eryn's birthday. It was still during her birthday party this year, but I knew I'd be home for the later part, so it was workable. We went to Splat Tag in Wisconsin. They have something like 12-14 different fields. Some are just wooded areas. Some have forts. Some have towers. Some are full of structures and cars. And one has a turreted fort and landing craft so you can reenact D-Day (without the death).

I just didn't get the hang of it right away. I was taking just a few shots. Conserving my bullets and looking for a shot I knew would hit. But your gun just isn't that accurate, so you're better off firing 20-30 shots in quick succession so that at least one hits. By the fourth game I was faring a bit better and managed to tag three players while defending a fort, including shooting Alan in the top of the head, and forcing Ming to surrender when he ran out of paintballs. I owed him for shooting me in the thigh in the second game, which is the only sizeable bruise I received all day. It's a bit bigger than a golf ball, and coupled with banging my knee on a wall yesterday, my whole left leg is a bit sore. I shot him in the hand latter and drew blood, so perhaps I engaged in a bit of overkill.

Alan, prepping for our first fight.

Kam. He had my favorite stance. When he was ready to shoot someone he'd jump out from behind a sheltered area and stand with his legs about shoulder width apart, bend his knees, and hold the gun directly in front of him. It reminded me very much of Scarface. He took a paintball to his middle finger that drew blood in a one inch diameter circle.

Alan's brother, Keith. The Baywest guys who work with Ming's wife. Jonathan and Ryan.

Ryan and Alan topping off their guns.

Brady and Ming preparing. Brady came charging around a wall in the "urban" area, and I opened up on him. He later knocked on his nut cup, near the yellow paint smear, and noted how pleased he was he'd worn it. He also brought along several bananas to share earlier in the day and set them down on the nutcup. After that, none of us were willing to share.

One of the towers they use in the bigger games, that supposedly have upwards of 800+ people and even tanks.

Preparation. The masks are a must. They cover your ears and face. I didn't get hit in the face, so I didn't get a mouthful of paint, which seems to be a common occurrence.

Brady. A good soldier doesn't get shot in the back!

Cleavagefield

Can anyone tell me, 30 minutes into Cleavagefield, when they're playing Pussy Pussy Bang Bang (youtube...I can't really assess whether it's NSFW or not), and well...doing some pussy pussy bang bang, if the huge bookshelf behind the fornicators is completely filled with Westlaw books? I just can't tell, despite having seen millions of them (Westlaw books that is, not fornicators). I was flipping channels on the small television, so there wasn't enough detail to be completely sure.

Foodshelf, the Pictorial

I mentioned that Eryn and I had visited the foodshelf to drop off food, pullups, and formula (and a check based on the amount of change we had dumped into the change jar on the bookshelf where we dump charitable donations). Here are a few pictures of our ride. Eryn really wants to bike home from school now. I picked her up on the tagalong today and told her that we'll practice biking TO school during off hours, and if we can get there, then I'm willing to have Pooteewheet drop off her bike so we can bike home. She's excited, so I imagine we'll be practicing the rest of the week.

Eryn next to the packages.

Eryn and I, courtesy of the nice young woman at the foodshelf. For Grandma and Grandpa's information, she really wanted to pose with her bicycle so you know how much she loves it.

Hail

Last Tuesday we got hail. Twice. Once around 5:00 a.m. And then again around 7:00 a.m. We were up for the 5:00 a.m. hail because there was a crack of thunder (Eryn reminded me lightning doesn't make noise) so loud that Eryn came into our room because it had scared her. Fortunately, we re-sided our house in the equivalent of concrete (Hardyboard) after the last hailstorm, so we kind of feel invulnerable. Except for the roof. And the trees. And the plants. And the shed. And the deck. But otherwise, we're like Superman. Amusingly, Pooteewheet's car had been outside for almost two weeks because I've been cleaning the garage in order to play with Eryn's Mindstorm's robot. That night, I'd finally cleared out enough of the "outgoing" pile for her to move her car back into her space. Serendipitous timing!

I do have to say that it's exciting to have a dog that doesn't whimper and pee herself when there's any amount of rain whatsover. We used to have to drag Sandy's cage down to the red room, shut all the doors, turn on loud music, and throw a blanket over her cage. It was the only way she wouldn't totally freak out. Luna didn't make much of a fuss at all, even with the blinds up. Not that she doesn't have other issues. But freaking out about thunder and lightning apparently isn't one of them.

The hail in our planter.

The wider picture.

A Palpable Divide

I put in a new mailbox and boards for us the other day. Our old one was getting old, covered in flakes of paint and rust. It took two tries to put one in, because the first one pinched in the back where I put in the screw and popped its seam. I thought about just smearing it with sealant, then decided if I was that lazy, I could have just left the rusty one in place and not bothered with the whole effort.


While finishing up, I noticed this strange fact. It may be difficult to see it unless you click through to the large photo, but the mailboxes for my immediate neighbors and my neighbors to the north. Black.


All my neighbors to the south. White. North likes black. South likes white. I can't help but feel we didn't learn anything at all from history.

Rest and Relax

Luna, enjoying a cup of water after a long walk to Ring Mountain. She also enjoyed the ends of three small cups of ice cream, so she was extremely happy.

Special Needs

Fortunately, when it comes to spanking and pegging, I'm a top, and I only like it when someone's screaming at me about haute cuisine and punching me with a feather glove while dressed like Carol Kane on a bad day. I felt that qualified to park.

The Force Is With You

Stormtroopers.

Darth You.

Big Ride

Eryn and I took our first big bike ride yesterday. About four miles round trip. We lugged a bunch of food, formula, pull ups and a donation over to the shelter on the bikes. Good place to make a trip if you're going to go somewhere. Eryn went up the hills like a champ.

Papa

Christy and Steve brought us back a present from their trip to Europe. Our very own Papa Benedetto XVII sucker from the gelato shop. Here he is blessing my backyard and Luna's pen.

Courtesy of My Reacquired G4 and Attack of the Show

The good part starts about 1:12.

The Signs

I noticed that the car parked next to me at the corporate lot today had several books on the front seat, back seat, and under the back window: a legal book about law under Kennedy (I think), a book about beginning skateboarding, and the Qur'an. I'm pretty sure someone is a superhero in training.

At some point (with addendum)

Ming was crawling around under my desk with his little chub hanging out. I don't feel safe and I don't feel respected. But I've carried his love to Kyle.

ADDENDUM: I forgot to mention. Ming taped up his little chub, but was discovered when his taping job failed and his chub popped out. (NSFW: Clerks II)

Dichotomy

Kyle...which do you prefer:

Who let the clowns out - clowns on bicycles:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Or...Zoey Deschanel on her bicycle?


Alt:

April Fools!

The last two years, for April Fools Day, I've messed with the piece of candy I give Eryn after school. Two years ago I gave her some wasabi paste, straight from Japan, and told her it was liquid candy. Last year, I gave her a bottle of ranch dressing. This year, she got in the car, buckled in, and reached for the candy jar only to find that it wasn't quite what she was expecting. At least the Chocolate Cream creamer is more like candy than the dental floss, salt, pepper, or various packages of sugar and sugar substitutes.

NXT Maze

This is NOT the right way to create a maze for your Mindstorms NXT robot. We tried the floor first, and stripped a nice bit of finish off in one spot. I wasn't willing to put tape on the new table so we tried the table cloth. As expected, every time the robot tried to make a turn the cloth bunched under the wheels. I could have taped the sides of the table down, but once again I was afraid to tape the table. So I promised Eryn I'd clean the back of the garage this weekend and we could turn the old Third District Nurses MNA board table into our robot table. You can't see it very well, but there's a green X at the end of the maze that marks the pressure plate.

Cannon Falls - First Real Ride of the Year

Ming, Kyle and I did 36 miles (and change) down at the Cannon Valley Trail between Cannon Falls and Red Wing yesterday. I'm sure the big breakfast at Little Oscar's and the 1/2 pound cheeseburgers at The House of Coates offset any exercise benefit, but we had a great time and found two caches to boot, despite Ming looking on the wrong side of the trail because his GPS was about 60' off.

.

We scored big time because we were out before the official season started. The signs and website clearly said $3.00 between April 1 and November 1, so we took them at their word.

We found a little bear while geocaching. I took it and Ming is paranoid I'm going to give it to Logan, who has a habit of collecting hobbies. But I left it on the car seat for Eryn this morning, and she was very excited. She took it to school and in a fit of irony named it Snowflake. It's interesting that it has an ironic name, because we had a rather lengthy discussion about the irony of Alanis Morrisette's Isn't It Ironic while riding.

Self portrait taken at Welch. There was no nice lady with cookies there this time. Serious bummer.

Picture of me taken by Ming, with the soon to be Snowflake the devil bear. This isn't the shirt I started the day wearing. Kyle showed up at my house wearing the exact same St. Paul Classic shirt I was wearing. I went inside and changed shirts so we didn't look like a couple.

Bicycling

Went for a bike ride. Took more energy than I remember from the fall. But I lost my training wheels!